Are We Talking Enough About Mental Health?

World's Best and Easiest Mashed Potatoes

Another hellish week. By Thursday I was exhausted. As an act of self-care, I decided to take a full day off that Friday—this meant no 9 to 5, no baking, no content creating, no editing and no writing. My body and mind were clearly in need of a break. Unfortunately, my day of “rest” turned into a day of agony—I had one of the worst migraines of my adult life. I started having insane migraines about a year ago.

I know talking about mental health and emotional well being is still taboo in the world of food media, food writing, restaurant industry, and content creation, but since we are finally starting to articulate how overwhelmed and stressed we feel—I think it’s equally important to share how we are coping. Openly sharing how we cope can help others who are struggling to find healthy ways of coping or processing trauma—it’s a way for us to help each other stop using unhealthy coping mechanisms prevalent in the industries I mentioned above.

Friday morning, the day I allowed myself to do nothing, I woke up feeling extra sluggish. My partner had already made coffee—maybe too strong. Sadly, as the day progressed, I started to feel worse. Everything was difficult. Walking, sitting, getting in and out of the car (my partner was driving, don’t worry), making dinner, and even eating. The precipice of the migraine was near. Soon I started to feel nauseated, dizzy, and my neck and shoulders became practically immobile. It hit shortly after dinner. Somehow, don’t ask me how, I managed to feed all my sourdough starters and immediately after I stumbled to the bedroom and collapsed on the bed.

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

The lesson here is that taking one day off after not having listened to your body for weeks (if not months) is not an act of self-care or a solution for feeling better. It is barely a band-aid. In my opinion, there is no such thing as a “rest day”. One day off is just that moment after the marathon where you collapse into a jelly, losing bodily control. One day off is not a solution to overworking and poor stress management. The expression “rest day” is meaningless. Furthermore, it comes with the implication that we need to do work before we are allowed rest. We have to earn rest.

What I would like us to be doing is taking care of ourselves and our needs every single day. We need to make room for different types of self-care; be it physical, emotional, social, mental, spiritual, etc. on a daily basis. Even more importantly the systems within which we operate including social norms and professionalism need to change for individual change to be effective. Otherwise, how can a person possibly build a life with enough rest in their daily lives. If the systems we are operating in demand that we deprioritize rest and ultimately our mental, emotional, and physical well-being, why would we continue to be a part of them?

Of course there are going to be periods where we have to work really hard, and it is ok to deprioritize rest for a brief period of time, be it meeting a deadline or whatever else. These prolonged periods of work should be few and far between. Unfortunately, American work culture and professionalism is defined by overwork—some counterfeit idea of sacrifice. The system is designed to extract as much labor as humanly possible from their employees. Overworking is met with praise and promotions. Overwork is perceived as commitment while those employees who have healthy work boundaries are deemed uncommitted, uncaring, and even unprofessional.

I am so glad that there has been a lot more open discourse regarding overwork and exhaustion among food writers, food journalists, food industry workers, and content creators. In light of how exhausted we all are, I wanted to share three important mental health resources that helped me process the various challenges that life has been throwing at me and the enormous amount of pressure we all are dealing with in these industries. And honestly I am sharing these because I wish someone would have shared them with me.

Photo by Felicia Buitenwerf on Unsplash

1. EMDR

The first thing that helped me and is continuing to help is bi-weekly EMDR sessions. I found my trauma informed therapist specializing in EMDR or Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing¹ through Austin Trauma Therapy Center. You can use the EMDR therapists search engine at the EMDR International Association web site or check out this list of EMDR trained therapist from the Trauma Institute & Child Trauma Institute. The great thing about EMDR is that it can be done virtually. My therapy sessions are all online so instead of eye movement we use a tactile form of bilateral stimulation or BLS. BLS is a technique that uses sensory stimuli to activate both sides of the brain. For example, you put your right hand on your left shoulder and your left hand on your right shoulder and you alternate gently tapping each shoulder in a consistent rhythm. Here’s a quick summary of how EMDR work:

“This technique involves a unique procedure in which a therapist exposes the patient to bilateral stimulation (BLS), which involves alternating bilateral visual (eye movement), auditory, or sensory stimulation (e.g. tactile stimulation). The standard EMDR protocol consists of two main stages, desensitisation of traumatic memories and development and installation of a “resource”, such as safe and pleasant thoughts. The latter is called resource development and installation (RDI). In the standard protocol, both stages use alternating BLS. BLS is performed concurrently with the recall of the worst image of the trauma and the resources installation. RDI has become a powerful psychotherapeutic tool for relaxation and encompasses a wide range of resource development interventions during the stabilisation phase of PTSD treatment.”

EMDR is not solely effective in treating PTSD, you can use it to process different types of trauma, stress, and even use it to manage chronic pain. EMDR helped me heal unprocessed trauma that my body and mind have been holding on to for years and some even since childhood. Is this form of therapy for everyone? Absolutely not, but I did want to share it nonetheless since it has the power to help people process trauma and regulate their nervous systems.

I also think it’s important to talk about mental health resources that are less commonly discussed and with more specificity. When someone is telling you to go to therapy, they are usually talking about cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT. The majority of therapists nowadays practice cognitive behavioral therapy. I did CBT for several years, it’s sometimes referred to as talk therapy. Unfortunately, CBT didn’t work well for me, since I clearly needed trauma informed interventions to help me properly process, I also have a tendency to analyze and intellectualize instead of feeling my emotions during talk therapy. Is CBT still incredible effective evidence based therapy? Absolutely!

I know finding any therapist is hard enough especially in the US given how broken our healthcare system is, but if you are able to find a specialist I would encourage you to think about your own specific therapy need and see which type of therapy can help you achieve those goals. You can look for therapists on PsychologyToday.com and narrow down your search using different filters such as your specific issue(s), types of therapy, age, ethnicity, sexuality, and more. I hope this list can give you some ideas for where to start.

2. Sahal Kaur Kohli

The second resource is actually an incredible human being! Given my identities as the eldest daughter of immigrant parents, the work of mental health professional

Sahaj Kaur Kohli, MA, LGPC

has been a godsend. Sahaj has a brilliant Substack called

Culturally Enough.

(love this name so much!) that talks about the intersection of mental health, culture, and immigrant identity. Her first book What Will People Say is coming out May 7th and is available for pre-order. Sahaj also has a Weekly Advice Column in The Washington Post!

If you are a child of immigrants (or an immigrant yourself) and you are dealing with issues of trauma it is important to be aware that your trauma can be tied to your identity as a child of immigrants. Ultimately what this means is you will need a therapist who is trained in culturally sensitive or informed techniques and interventions. Finding a therapist who understands how identity and culture impacts our mental health is crucial to its efficacy. Sahaj shares a lot of helpful techniques and reframing that are created specifically to help first-gen heal and feel less alone in their experiences. This really underscores that not all therapist are the same. You can try using some of Sahaj resources alongside your regular therapy. She has resources for both clinicians and individuals on her website. Her newsletter, Instagram, and Tiktok are resources in and of themselves.

As a therapist, Sahaj helps immigrant families, and adult children of immigrants identify their dominant stories — what they’ve been told, what they tell themselves — when it comes to feeling enough in their differing cultural identities. She also aims to mediate cultural brokering between loved ones to create healthier and more supportive relationships.

3. CPT

The third and final resource that I want to mention is a form of trauma informed therapy called CPT or Cognitive Processing Therapy. When the war started on February 24, 2022 my world fell apart. Witnessing the destruction of my city, the death of my people, and erasure of my culture was paralyzing. It got to a point where I had to take FMLA, in essence a medical leave of absence. That first month of the war, when I was trying to find my aunt, cousins, and grandmother were agony and we didn’t know for almost 6 weeks if they were dead or alive. It was torture.

By some miracle, a social worker, who I have never spoken to before, called me from my doctor’s office and told me about a program that might help, it was called Restore. It was a six-week intensive outpatient program. The program was designed using cognitive processing therapy or CPT. CPT has proven to be incredibly effective in treating PTSD, PTSD symptoms, and general form of trauma. In some cases it has proven effective even in populations that are actively living through trauma. For full details of the study read the full article.² Honestly, this is something that many of us are living with nowadays. For a global list of CPT providers checkout the CPT Provider roster here.

Effectively what you do in a CPT program is you examine the story you have been telling yourself about your trauma and you analyze those thoughts through writing. It is a very logical form of therapy. You look closely at the evidence for why you’ve drawn the conclusions that you have about what happened to you. The program is actually designed to help you figure out how to organize your thinking through your writing, giving you the space to step back and look at what happened with a layer of objectivity.

In CPT, you will learn skills that can help you decide whether there are more helpful ways to think about your trauma. You will learn how to examine whether the facts support your thought or do not support your thought. And ultimately, you can decide whether or not it makes sense to take a new perspective.

I hope these resources can be of use to anyone dealing with an enormous amount of stress and unprocessed trauma in their lives. Please let me know in the comments what other resources or techniques you use to manage stress, regulate your nervous system, process trauma, or generally to take care of your emotional and mental health.

RECIPE OF THE WEEK:

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My Mom’s Famous Mashed Potatoes

My mom taught me how to make mashed potatoes or I guess more accurately I learned from observation. My mom is not big on teaching when she is cooking. Does anyone else have this type of mom? Anyway, I digress.

Here are some key things to know about mashed potatoes. Less is more, timing is everything, and water is our nemesis. What do I mean by that? You don’t want to manipulate the potatoes too much after they have been boiled. Overmixing mashed potatoes results in a glue finished product instead of clouds of fluffy mash. When draining the potatoes you want to give them a good shake to get rid of any excess moisture, you can also give the pot a scrub with a paper towel if there is a lot of water or starch residue on the sides of the pot.

For perfect mashed potatoes my pro tip is to use a hand mixer! In my humble opinion this is the best tool for the job. You get tons of control and the potatoes come out perfectly light. I know some people recommend using a potato ricer but for those of us who are not necessarily the biggest fans of single purpose tools—my go to tool is a hand mixer.

Ingredient List: 

• 2.2 lbs peeled, roughly chopped potatoes or 6 medium russet potatoes (1,000 grams) 

• 7 tablespoons unsalted European style butter (100 grams) 

• 3/4 cup full fat milk (200 grams)

• 3/4 teaspoon table salt (don’t forget to adjust according to taste!)

Method: 

1. Put the potatoes into a large pot and cover them in water, the water should just be covering the potatoes.

2. Place the pot on the stove and bring to a boil over medium high heat then reduce to medium low. Start checking for doneness at the 25 minute mark.

3. Once the potatoes are tender (a fork or knife goes through effortlessly through the potato), strain into a colander and shake off any excess water.

4. Put the potatoes back into the pot. Now add the butter, milk, and salt to the potatoes and using a hand mixer, mix everything together on the lowest speed. Mix for about a minute! It is very important not to over mix. Periodically stop to taste seasoning and consistency. Once the potatoes are lump free and fluffy, stop mixing.

5. Serve with anything your heart desires!    

Photo by Eiliv Aceron on Unsplash

BAKING NEWS:

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Orders through end of April 30th are now live! You can order any cheesecake your heart desires on my online store powered by Hotplate.

1. Amano, Tamaki, and Motomi Toichi. “The Role of Alternating Bilateral Stimulation in Establishing Positive Cognition in EMDR Therapy: A Multi-Channel Near-Infrared Spectroscopy Study.” PloS one vol. 11,10 e0162735. 12 Oct. 2016, doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0162735

2. Kaysen, Debra et al. “Impact of setting insecurity on Cognitive Processing Therapy implementation and outcomes in eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo.” European journal of psychotraumatology vol. 11,1 1735162. 17 Mar. 2020, doi:10.1080/20008198.2020.1735162