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Hi Lovelies!
Let me start by explaining the reason(s) for my recent silence. The short answer is things have been hard. In addition to what feels like an endless wave of bad news we are in the middle of a massive move.
Next week we are hitting the road with our three kitties and driving all the way from Austin to Youngstown. It is a massive change especially since I spent the last 13 years living here. Austin has been the longest place I have ever lived.
Anytime things are in the state of change, I get mortified. I have this aversion to change, or at least I have always struggled with it. The idea of things no longer being the same scares me, it always has. I think a lot of it is tied up with my low tolerance for uncertainty.
This particular change isn’t inherently bad, the circumstances of the move could of course be better, but I am looking forward to change (I try to remind myself of this all the time) as much as I fear it.
My partner and I are excited to be in a place with seasons. We are excited to find a city that aligns with our values and goals better—wherever that ends up being. We are excited to leave the politics of our current state, and be in a state (eventually) that protects human labor or maybe even end up in a different country with universal healthcare and slower pace of living.
I’m excited to have a space where I feel comfortable writing, creating, editing, baking, cooking, filming, and photographing. We are excited to make a home after years of being stuck in survivor mode. Neither of us think Youngstown will be that—especially my partner who grew up there. But he’s excited to be in familiar territory during this difficult time, and the area has always been rich for working artists. He’s excited to bring back everything he’s learned. Both of us are very very excited for the amazing Italian and Eastern European food and ingredients up there as well.
Honestly, Northeastern Ohio is a beautiful and wonderful place. There is a reason so many from Italy and Eastern Europe found a home there—a geologically diverse area that looks like many parts of Italy, Ukraine, and Czechia. The cities close by are great: Cleveland, Akron, Pittsburgh. Tom and I had one of our first date at the Cleveland Art Museum while it was under renovations, Akron University has phenomenal galleries and collections, Youngstown has the Butler Institute of American Art with gorgeous abstract expressionist collections and some very cool limner and folk art, and the Arms Family Museum has a lot of early regional photography and textile—some of which was Tom’s first exposure to preservation and conservation.
Everything is still up in the air as far as where, when, how, etc. But things are moving in the right direction that I know is true. Do I have moments of panic? Do I wake up in the middle of the night crying? Do I have brain fog? Do I feel numb? Do I have problems thinking? Do I struggle with writing or making things lately? The answer to all of these is yes. The goal isn’t so much a destination as much as it is a state of being, a way of doing. We are building our lives for mobility after having learned what it is we value, and it’s shaping up to be not that much to physically carry. It’s a really weird and disorienting feeling for the two of us. We are both such homebodies despite the wanderlust of our adolescence.
A lot of my energy lately has been going towards more practical things like packing, organizing, logistics, cleaning, as well as all of the emotional labor of navigating all this change like saying goodbye to my sister who moved out this past Monday. We lived together for the last 10 years. Also, the mental labor of taking care of sick loved ones and processing the different stages of grief that even good change brings into our lives. And this isn’t a new thing. It’s just cumulative and at some point it doesn’t really matter how deep the water is because you have to swim no matter what.
In order to prioritize the move I also had to stop baking. As someone who has been baking nonstop for 6 years now, it has been quite the adjustment. So much of my identity has been wrapped up especially in Austin with baking. It was also hard to spend my first holiday season without baking and filling endless cheesecake or sourdough babka orders.
I am actively trying to practice self-compassion and prioritize healing my physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Even during these past couple of weeks when feelings of shame and guilt have surfaced too many times to count, especially around not writing or baking enough, I try to remind myself that the ebb and flow of life requires us at times to slow down. There will always be parts of ourselves that are screaming at us for their attention, but over time we learn how to soothe them without compensating by feeding it with productivity. Let’s all slow down and embrace the slower moving winter months on the horizon.
PUBLICATION NEWS
It’s here! It’s finally here. I received my copy of EATEN magazine in the mail and finally got to see my first food history/anthropology article in print. The article is very near and dear to my heart. Little light has been shed on Crimean Tatar cuisine in western food media, and I’m thrilled to see this story in a food history magazine.
I’m continuing my research on Crimean Tatar cuisine and look forward to sharing recipes for some of the traditional Crimean Tatar dishes I came across in my research. Do you want to learn more about Crimean Tatar cuisine? Do you want to learn how to make the savory pies I talk about in my article such as chiberek (fried hand pies), different kinds of köbete (meat pies with laminated doughs), sarburma (snail shell shaped pie), yantiq (grilled hand pies), and many others? Waiting to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Quick Overview:
The primary goal of the article is to recognize the fundamental role Crimean Tatar women played in preserving the culinary culture of Crimean Tatars through waves of oppression starting in 1783 by Russian and Soviet Empires.
Specifically, the work focuses on the practice of savory pie making and the communal nature of Crimean Tatar baking as mechanisms for cultural preservation. I end the piece by connecting the past to the present—looking at the current wave of oppression and persecution faced by Crimean Tatars. This renewed wave of oppression is marked by the illegal and forced annexation of Crimea by Russia in 2014. Lastly we look briefly at the continued effort of Crimean Tatar women in preserving their culture through baking.
You can purchase a physical copy of the magazine here or look for it at your local independent bookstore. There is also an option to buy a digital copy, here.
Recipe of the Week:
Poppy Seed Filling for Babkas
The recipe for the filling came to me during my first recipe testing assignment! I was helping test and develop some of the baking recipes that can now be found in Olia Hercules’ cookbook Summer Kitchens. The recipe’s original creator is Katrya Seldonenko whose Patreon you absolutely should be subscribing too!
Tools:
Food processor
Ingredient List:
150 grams milk
100 grams poppy seeds
80 grams unsalted butter, cut into small cubes
100 grams walnuts
100 grams light brown sugar
Method:
For the filling: In a small saucepan, add the milk and poppy seeds, bring to a boil, lower the heat and simmer for about 10 minutes, or until the majority of the milk has been absorbed. Set aside and let cool slightly, we still want the poppy seeds to be a little warm.
If the mixture is looking too dry at the 5 minute mark add a tablespoon of milk at a time.
Once cool, add the boiled poppy seeds, butter, walnuts, and brown sugar to a food processor or blender and process into a fine paste. The final paste should be spreadable but not overly runny. It will become more set as it cools. Store at room temperature to retain that spreadable consistency especially if your babka dough is ready for shaping. Otherwise store in the fridge for a couple of days and heat up over low heat to reach a spreadable consistency.
All the best with your move. Summer kitchens is one of my favourite books. I love Olia’s food philosophy!
Best of luck with the move! We have so many places we love to eat and drink in Cleveland and Pittsburgh - Youngstown is such a good home base for exploring both of them.